


Christmas Lights

by Cornerverse



Series: Shenanigans and Side Stories [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Roy and Riza are married and adopted Ed and Al, Shovel Talk, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17155781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerverse/pseuds/Cornerverse
Summary: Some people get a little too into the Christmas Season. Add in bringing your boyfriend to meet more family and lights that seem to want to trap everyone, and you'll have plenty of Holiday Spirit





	Christmas Lights

**Author's Note:**

> As a Christmas Present, have the first Side Story to Shenanigan and a Half!

                “Hear those sleigh bells jingling mother fucker!” Ed shouted, flopping onto the couch.

                Looking around, he found one face almost as excited as he was, one that was very exasperated, and four genuinely confused expressions. He only grinned and grabbed another candy bar.

                “It’s not even-” Mei stopped and checked the time. “It’s been November for all of ten seconds!”

                “You’re still in your Halloween costume!” Paninya pointed out. “You can’t start getting all ‘jingle jangle’ on us in a Halloween costume!”

                “Don’t underestimate him,” Winry sighed. “His love of Halloween is the only thing that keeps him from pulling out the ornaments even earlier.”

                “You say that like you don’t love the holiday season!” Al said, mockingly offended.

                “At least I try to wait until half-way through November,” she sighed.

                “So, we get to suffer through you singing carols for the next two months?” Ling asked, pulling Ed over to him.

                “That’s what you get for tricking me into the costume,” Ed replied.

                “Whatever you say, ‘Little Red’,” Lan Fan replied.

                Ed chucked a candy bar at her, but she easily caught it. Rolling his eyes, he looked back to his costume. He’d been on board with the idea of a ‘couple costume’, but when Ling had suggested Red Riding Hood and her ‘Big Bad Wolf’, he knew that he’d have to endure everyone getting stuck on the ‘little’ part of ‘Little Red Riding Hood’.

                Then, just as he had started to protest, Ling gave him that look and oh boy was he gone.

                “Didn’t expect you to be much of a ‘Christmas person’,” Ling said.

                “He’s not the worst in the family,” Al said.

                “Please tell me you’re not talking about yourself,” Mei said.

                “No, but I’ll at least wait until I’m not in costume,” he said. “I’m talking about Grandma Christmas.”

                “Isn’t the phrase usually ‘Father Christmas’,” Paninya asked.

                “He means it literally,” Winry answered.

                “I know we’ve mentioned her before,” Ed said. “Roy’s Aunt, goes by ‘Madame Christmas’, owns a bar.”

                “I think you said something about her once,” Lan Fan nodded. “Though I think it was the same conversation where you told us about ‘The Family Cryptid’, so we might’ve forgotten it.”

                “Another family member to meet then?” Ling smiled at him. “How bad will the ‘shovel talk’ be this time?”

                “Not sure,” Ed answered. “On one hand, she’s not a cop. On the other hand, she has a bit of mystery to her, so who knows.”

                “You know,” Al said, giving a somewhat mischievous smile, “If you want to meet her, we’ll probably be getting dragged into redecorating the bar for the season. It won’t be for a while though. As much as she wants to decorate as soon as possible, she knows it’ll drive everyone nuts if she did it before December.”

                “Offering to help out will earn you bonus points with the family,” Winry pointed out.

                “I have a feeling I’d get dragged in either way,” Ling said.

                “Probably.” Ed shrugged.

                “Well then,” he grinned. “Hopefully our costume choices don’t predict the future.”

                Ed quickly ducked away from him as several candy bars went flying.

* * *

                Ed rolled his eyes at the message on the phone before shoving it back in his pocket. Even so, he walked a little bit faster.

                “You okay?” Ling asked, drifting a little closer as he easily kept pace.

                “Yeah,” Ed nodded. “Winry was just checking up on how my leg is doing in the cold.”

                “Why?” he asked. “It’s not going to just, you know, freeze up or something right?”

                “Not exactly,” he said. “The actual mechanical bits will work fine. It’s just that it’s a piece of metal stuck against my skin. Kind of a bad combination in extreme temperatures.”

                “Oh,” he said. “Maybe we should stop somewhere and warm up a bit?”

                “It’s fine,” he said. “Don’t make that face. It’s actually fine. I’m not usually out in the cold long enough for it to be a problem. Even if it was, we’re close enough anyway.”

                Sure enough, another minute or so later Ed led him to a building. It was fairly standard as far as bars go, not that either of them had a frame of reference. The actual bar on one side, shelves of alcohol behind it. On the other, a decent number of tables and chairs for the patrons to relax at.

                The only things different were the Christmas decorations slowly being put up. Garland, lights, ornaments and wreathes were either on the walls or ready to be put up. There was even a tree in front of the window, though it was still bare.

                Of course there was more to set up, and plenty had already showed up to help. Al waved as they walked in, as did Riza. There was an attempt from Roy, but he had somehow managed to get entangled in a string of lights and was having trouble getting out.

                There were a few more people around. After all, the actual staff had to help too. Ed knew most of the girls who worked for Madame Christmas. Not well, really, but enough to give a friendly wave.

                However, Ed steered them right to the woman leading the redecorating. Madame Christmas was dressed as usual, with a red dress and long, fur-lined, coat. For the season, she’d added holly leaf earrings and a Santa hat.

                “Hope we’re not too late,” Ed greeted.

                “Of course not,” Madame Christmas said, turning to grin at him. “I was just wondering where Santa’s ‘little’ helper could be.”

                “Hey!” he began to protest before she pulled him into a hug.

                He heard a small laugh from Ling, and turned just enough to glare at him. While he was always generally grumpy, Ed didn’t mind getting hugged that much anymore, so he let it slide.

                For the most part. He did grin back when Madame Christmas turned her attention to Ling. While she was known as your local, friendly bartender, she was still the woman who had raised Roy. And it was easy to see the relation in the look she gave. It was calm yet analyzing, and honestly a little terrifying. Ling had already gotten that look from Roy before, so he immediately froze up as he knew what it meant.

                “This must be that boyfriend you mentioned,” Madame Christmas said.

                “Yep,” Ed said, finally pulling out of the hug. “I decided to drag him into helping out.”

                “You say that like I wouldn’t have volunteered,” Ling replied. “It’s nice to meet you. Ed and Al have mentioned you a few times. Oh, my name’s Ling, by the way.”

                “Nice to meet you as well,” Madame Christmas said, offering a handshake. “Now, as for helping, how about Ed starts with fixing up the jukebox?”

                “What happened to the jukebox?” Ed asked. “Usually you just switch the songs out, right?”

                “Usually,” she said. “Unless it gets hit with Lauren’s curse. Not sure what she did, but it won’t even play the usual songs.”

                “Right,” he said. “Someone really needs to ban her from the tech. Come on.”

                He started to drag Ling with him, but was stopped by Madame Christmas’s hand on his shoulder.

                “Actually,” Madame Christmas began, “I have a project to borrow him for. He’ll catch up with you in a minute.”

                Ling gave him a somewhat-terrified look. Though he still smiled, his eyes says ‘oh dear god don’t leave me alone with her’. Ed only shrugged. Sorry buddy, you’ve got to face this at some point.

                He his way to the jukebox in the corner of the room, pausing at the register to grab the key to open it. As he grabbed that, Ed noticed the open bins of decorations. He picked up a headband with antlers on it, and quickly slipped it onto his head before continuing on.

                The jukebox might look pretty old, but it was just the aesthetic. It’s actual interface was far more modern. It should’ve been simple to change the music over, but the one girl seemed cursed with technology.

                Kneeling down, Ed opened up the back and immediately sighed a string of swears. How did she manage to malign the coin drop? Whatever. At least that should be an easy fix.

                By the time he got that fixed up, he noticed Ling finally heading over to him.

                “How’d it go?” Ed asked.

                “Fine,” Ling nodded, dropping down beside him. “Why is everyone in your family terrifying?”

                “I want to defend them, but you’re not wrong,” he laughed. “Hey, think I could rig this to do a Christmas version of the ‘Salt and Pepper Diner’? I’m thinking seven plays of ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ and dropping in a ‘Dance of the Sugarplum Faeries’ before switching back.”

                “Maybe just rig it so that every three songs is ‘Carol of the Bells’,” he said.

                “Fantastic!” he said. “Less expected, more subtle, and gives me some plausible deniability!”

                “You know,” he said. “I might’ve said it before, but I didn’t expect you to be so into the holiday spirit.”

                “I might be grumpy all the fucking time, but I can like things,” he replied. “I do like you, after all.”

                “Love you too,” he said. “But, I don’t know. It’s still unexpected. The grumpiness aside, I expected the usual level of holiday cheer. Especially since I know you’re not really in it for the religious aspect.”

                Ed didn’t respond at first, his face coming to a small frown. He kept messing with the jukebox, even knowing it was already fixed. Sensing that it was just anxious fiddling, Ling gently took Ed’s hands away from the controls.

                “I didn’t always ‘get into the spirit’,” Ed admitted, not quite meeting his gaze. “It was kind of hard to get into a holiday that was all about love and family when you don’t have much family.”

                “I… guess that’s fair,” Ling said.

                “Sounds kind of predictable,” he said. “Then, the first Christmas after we got adopted was extra nuts. We went from just kind of semi-ignoring the holidays straight into, well, this!”

                He gestured around again, looking over all the decorations.

                “It is a bit excessive,” Ling said.

                “And this isn’t even all of it,” Ed said. “There’s at least another tree or two somewhere. And ornaments for said trees. Not to mention our actual house. We’ll take a bit more time setting that up. And you’d think the trees and switching out the paintings and garland and stockings is enough, but last year I counted twenty seven individual Santas in the bathroom. The bathroom!”

                “I… honestly don’t know what to say to that,” he said. “Where- where do you even put that?”

                “I have no fucking clue,” he said. “Fucking tetris bullshit.”

                “Can I ask how it was before?” he wondered. “I mean, back before, you know, with your mom.”

                “It was really different,” he answered, his voice a bit quieter. “It was less excessive, for one. Of course we still had plenty of dramatics and Extra-ness. Mom actually made a lot of cookies. An assorted tin for pretty much everyone we knew. I still have the recipes. Most of the decorations too, even the ‘preschool craft project’ ones. Just to add to the hoard of Christmas crap.

                “There were other differences,” he continued. “We were little back then. Still believing in Santa and all. Running around, singing off key. Not caring about the ‘spirit of the season’ as much as ‘ohh! Presents!’. And...”

                “And what?” Ling asked

                “Just, ugh,” Ed groaned. “That last Christmas with mom was also the last one with ‘The Cryptid’. Back when everything was normal. At least as normal as we got.”

                With a sigh, he flopped against Ling’s shoulder. He took a moment to look around again, just taking in the sight. Somehow, Roy had managed to not only get even more tangled, but he dragged Al into the mess. There were very few words that could describe Riza’s face as she tried to get them out, but the easiest ones were ‘disbelief’ and ‘resigned exasperation’.

                “After everything that happened,” Ed said, “That first Christmas with Roy and Riza. It was just- the whole situation kind of finally sank in. Things were finally getting better. Okay, yeah, we weren’t totally out of the woods yet. My arm was still so fucked that it was difficult to open the presents, and I might’ve spent half the night out of it on pain meds. But it was something good.”

                “I get it,” Ling said. “I think anyone would get super into Christmas after that.”

                “Yeah,” he nodded. “Anyway, want to see if this thing works before helping untangle some lights?”

                Ling looked over to where the rest of the family was slowly getting wrapped up and laughed. After being handed a few quarters from the collection, he got up and started tapping at the controls. Only once Ed heard the first few notes of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ did he close the back of the jukebox and push it back against the wall.

                They made their way over to everyone else, barely suppressing snickers. While Riza had yet to be dragged in, she hadn’t made much progress.

                “Having trouble there?” Ed asked.

                “Do. Not. Even,” Roy warned, though he wasn’t as intimidating when he could barely move.

                “I have no idea how this happened,” Al sighed, rubbing his face with the hand that wasn't pinned to his side.

                “I should have expected it,” Riza sighed, still trying to get them out.

                “Yeah, I think this is pretty standard for you guys,” Ling said. “Either that or you got cursed.”

                “Are you two done having fun or are you going to help?” Roy sighed.

                “I don’t know,” Ed said. “I wouldn’t want to get trapped too. It might be a bit embarrassing.”

                “Well, if you want ‘embarrassing’,” Al grinned, “let’s see if this ‘tangling curse’ works on antlers!”

                Before Ed could react, Al grabbed something out of the bin and leaned forward enough to bop him on the head with it. Unfortunately for him, the lights around his legs killed his balance and sent him crashing to the floor.

                “I’m fine,” Al said, still facedown. “Did it work?”

                “I think it did,” Ling snickered.

                “Then I have no regrets,” he said.

                “What did you even do?” Ed demanded.

                As an answer, Ling tapped the antler headband, tilting it forward just enough to tilt it forward. While it didn’t fall off, it did let Ed see that something had been successfully hooked around them. He felt his face turn red upon recognizing it a mistletoe. Of course.

                “You little-!” Ed began.

                He was cut off by Ling going with tradition and leaning in for a kiss. It was just a quick one, as they were in the presence of family. But it was enough to make his face even redder and go directly into bluescreen mode.

                “Great,” Riza sighed. “Now all three of them are out.”

                “Again, I have no regrets,” Al said. “Maybe a few regrets. Can someone help me up?”

**Author's Note:**

> *Slaps roof of a fanfiction*
> 
> This baby can fit so much self-projection!


End file.
